August 4, 2011: I made a stop at the M&Ms store in Times Square recently to buy some fun colored M&Ms for the cupcake pops, and I couldn't believe the horrible, tacky crap they sell there. Are you really going to buy an M&Ms bathrobe? And wear it with your M&Ms pajamas and M&Ms underwear? Are you going to drink from an M&Ms coffee mug (okay, I'll give you that one, maybe)? But dinner plates? Really? This store reeks of Affluenza.
August 9, 2011: I despise how so many people seem to have difficulty with maintaining breathable space in a line. I like to believe I'm a conscientious person. When I enter a line (say at the grocery store), I leave adequate space between myself and the person in front of me. It's not like anyone is going to squeeze in there if I don't fill up every inch of space there. But this understanding seems lost on so many people. Granted these are often children, who just don't seem to have a proper sense of personal boundaries. But then I have to wonder, why aren't their parents teaching them about proper line etiquette (or teachers in school for that matter). Because line encroaching children, ultimately grow into non-personal space abiding adults who breathe down your neck and accidentally bump into you with their sweaty, stinky limbs.
August 11, 2011: I'm so sick of the midnight opening night movie show time. It was fun when it was rare and unique. Only the biggest movies with the craziest fan bases could possibly warrant a midnight showing. Now, every week there's at least one movie with a midnight opening show time. I understand part of this is a summer thing, but it's just not as fun or special when it's available every week.
August 16, 2011: In 1999, Who Wants to be a Millionaire was the first TV game show to offer a $1 million grand prize. The show single-handedly brought back the prime time game show. Today, twelve years later, game and competition shows are still a definite part of the network television lineup. What I don't get is the fact that the grand prize is still never more than $1 million (unless it's some kind of special edition version [this of course excludes Jeopardy in which you could feasibly continue to win forever like that one guy]). Shouldn't game show prizes be worth more now (I mean adjusting for inflation, $1 million in 1999 is equal to about $1.3 million today), especially given the ever more ridiculous things we make people do on television to win the money?
August 18, 2011: As may have been evidenced in previous monkus, I'm kind of a grammar Nazi. I simply hate when people use the wrong form of it's (vs. its) or there (vs. their or they're). But lately, I find I've been over doing it on the instinct to correct my homophones. I find in cases where I mean the contraction of "it is", I'll actually leave out the apostrophe. Or worse, I've actually written "they're" when I meant to write "there". Honestly, who does that? I guess this isn't really a monku (although it does make proof reading extra annoying), rather a caution against complaining too vigorously.
August 23, 2011: This past weekend, I had a coupon for 50% off a bakeware item from Michaels craft store (plus an additional coupon for 40% any item). I went there specifically to purchase a mini cupcake pan (or two). Considering Michaels loves to pimp Wilton products, I couldn't believe that the Upper West Side store didn't have a single cupcake pan (mini or otherwise). I checked shelf labels to see if they were merely out of stock. As it turns out, the only cupcake pan Michaels carries is one by Duff Goldman. Seriously? No mini pans, and the only cupcake pan is by the Ace of Cakes (the guy who attempted to break the world record for largest cupcake and failed because he didn't actually make a cupcake)?
August 25, 2011: I dislike how Broadway audiences so readily give a standing ovation at curtain call. Frankly, not every show deserves it. And yet, at the end of most Broadway performances, the audience will inexplicably stand. There also seems to be a higher percentage of standing ovations in the orchestra over the mezzanine(s) (I guess if you spend all that money, you really want to like it). No one wants to be that one douche bag who doesn't stand up during a standing-o, but that's what I've been reduced to on many occasions. Yeah, I'm that person. It's not like I'm rude. I still applaud at the end of the show, but you've got to earn my standing ovation.
One of these days, these monkus are going to catch up with me. Until then...
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